My big fat weight loss journey

My husband and I have recently started a local Biggest Loser program. We are required to attend weekly meetings that involve weigh ins, measurements, lectures, workouts and Bible studies. Through all this, I'm learning that I have to stop letting food manage my feelings. I used to be bored, sad, happy...etc. and would treat that with food. Normally that included a 9x13 casserole dish. Now I have to walk away from my addiction to comfort food and actually deal with my feelings. It sucks!

Over the last 10 years of marriage I have gone from 142 lbs to 256 lbs. Through three pregnancies, a miscarriage, two healthy births and 6 months of bedrest, I have not put diet and exercise at the top of my list. I consoled myself with food with our lost pregnancy. Then I celebrated the next pregnancy by eating more food. I celebrated her birth with food...same with the next child. I woke up one day and couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I've never been the gorgeous prom queen type, but I think I used to at least pass for super cute. I turned into a mom blob of mass proportions and it sucked.

Why is it that moms think they can give all of themselves to their families and still have any energy left over for themselves? The answer simply is that they can't. Their tank is empty after giving it all to everyone else and they are the ones that suffer.

I'm learning that all my MIL issues over the years was medicated with food. I'm just now realizing that I need to sit down and tell her how I have felt all these years. I hope that it will heal our relationship. If not, then I'll have done my best to make it right.

kid happenings fall 09

"Being a Mama is hard work."--Lia Wilson I hope she remembers that when she gives me a hard time.

"Where are the rest of their clothes?"--Lia while watching Dancing With The Stars

Nathan got the video camera and deleted everything! That will teach us to download things a bit quicker.

Bubba is wearing a hot pink tutu and dancing. He totally rocks it.

Lia says, "Daddy, will you dance with me? It's okay if you aren't a prince and we can just pretend you are handsome."

Nathan said he wanted to brush his teeth and asked for the 'poot taste' instead of the toothpaste.

I love watching Nathan be silly. He fell and skinned his knees so I gave him huge blue band aids. Now he's walking like a mummy so he doesn't mess up the bandages.

fantastic mommy day. Gymnastics and shopping with Lia, snuggles with both kids and then playing in the leaves. Finished off with gourmet pizza for dinner and a good movie. I'm so thankful God chose me to be their mama.

enjoyed my morning with Lia. She says..."Mom, I'm going to lose more teeth, but I won't lose my sweet tooth."

had fun doing craft time with Lia. We painted wooden flowers. "My favorite part is gettin' messy."--Lia Wilson

for future reference: If silly putty ends up on your remote control, it will take a long time to get it off the buttoons. You may want to block off a portion of your day.

members of my family attacked by the Ickies. I thought it best to keep Lia home from church. She cried and cried ..."but I LOVE church and I want to go." Larry is making pancakes to make her feel better. (11/1/09)

enjoyed watching Lia finally master some of her gymanastics, then going with her to spend her tooth fairy money. She bought a cowgirl hat and a stick unicorn.

Nathan just tackled Lia and knocked out one of her teeth. I said, "Nathan, you just knocked out Lia's tooth!" He responded, "Wow, cool!" I guess the tooth fairy is flying by tonight. (10/30/09) tooth #2

"Nathan is being a little bother"..Lia Wilson ( I think she may watch too much Olivia)

thinks Nathan wants to be a thief when he grows up. I keep finding him under the dining table with all the things he's taken from us. Just found him with my camera, Larry's wallet and cell phone.

Had lots of fun partying with Lia's Kindergarten class this morning! Lia hugged me and told me how much she appreciated me organizing her party. Made it totally worth it.

things I never thought I'd say to my kids". My example: Nathan!! Get your head out of the toilet!!

Lia just lost her first tooth--literally. It came out while she was eating a crouton and she swallowed it. Now I have to write a note to the tooth fairy excusing the absence of her tooth from under the pillow, yet still asking for money. (10/25/09)

Lia hears God

Lia: "Mom, God is talking to me."--- Me: "What is He saying?"---Lia: "He's saying to pick up the family room and be helpful."---When she saw the room she says, "Whoa, it's pretty messy. Maybe I only THOUGHT He was talking to me.

They grow up so fast

Lia starts Kindergarten in a couple of weeks. I'm amazed at how quickly she's gone from my sweet baby to my sweet little lady. Sometimes she is so grown and does things way beyond her years. We plan to start her in gymnastics in October. She almost exploded with excitement when we told her. It won't be long before I'm sending her off to college.

Nathan is a mess

A few weeks ago we found Nathan sitting in our bed completely naked painting his man bits hot pink with my fingernail polish. First, the door to our room was closed and he had never gotten in there before. Second, the polish was put away on my nightstand, but he managed to get it anyway.

Now he's started opening closet doors and finding light bulbs and whatever else he could get his hands on. Yesterday I found him holding an empty bottle of hand sanitizer. I freaked! Thankfully most of it was on his pants. I called poison control and they said to give him juice and he'd be fine. Praise the Lord he was.

He's making my hair gray!!

Boys vs. Girls

Nathan is into EVERYTHING all the time!! He won't keep his clothes on and is constantly taking off his diaper. When he goes down for a nap, he just strips naked and plays with his man bits. The other day we noticed he was very quiet and figured he was playing in the bedroom. How right we were....he had found my fingernail polish and was sitting buck naked in the middle of our bed (on our white sheets) and he was painting his man bits hot pink! I'm saving that story for his future girlfriends---payback for messing up the sheets. ; )

Now we're duct taping his diaper on...that doesn't really work either. He just takes his clothes off and takes the tape off too. I've tried putting him in onesies or one piece pj's, but he figured out how to strip those as well. I'm embracing him being naked...for now. Maybe I'll even try to potty train him since his bits are already out there.

We're not only duct taping his diaper, but furniture and other items as well. He constantly takes the cover off the vacuum so we've taped it shut. A few moments ago he came and handed me the tape. So much for that idea. We taped his drawers shut on his dresser because he kept going in after the lotion and diaper cream so he could squirt it around the room. That didn't work either..the tape just came off. I know about the child locks and all that, but those didn't work either since they leave a slight gap in the drawer big enough for his little hand to fit.

The kicker is that this is all new for us. Our daughter never got into anything...we really didn't even need to childproof much since she would just listen when we told her to stay away from things. She played quietly in her room or in the family room with her toys or books. She still does. Now I'm adjusting to having an almost two year old that is ALL BOY!

I miss my friends

My family and I decided to leave the church we've attended and been members at for seven years. Since late October we've been looking for a new church home, but so far have had no success. Week after week we discuss which church we'd like to visit next. They are always too big or too small or their beliefs don't line up with ours. The children's programs are very important to us since we have two children. I really want to go somewhere with other young couples with young kids so we can make friends in the same season of life as us. We also want a church that is more contemporary than traditional. I personally don't like the 'church in a box' that meets at a public location. We visited a church that meets at a community center and I just can't do it. I feel that it hinders my ministry. With a building you are able to have gatherings at any time without going through making reservations at a restaurant or something.

I really miss my friends at our old church and our daughter misses hers as well. I don't feel like we can go back without some people acting smugly toward us like we just couldn't do any better. I feel like that church family that we desire to have is out there somewhere. No offense meant to our friends from our previous church. They will always be in my heart and hopefully my life. If you are reading this, please pray for our family as we continue to search.

Wal-Mart crazy

It happened again. We went to our bi-weekly grocery trip to Wal-Mart and had dinner at Subway as usual. Everything is going fine. The kids are behaving as much as they can while trying to get attention. Then the crazy started. Nathan started wiggling in the buggy so I took him for a walk while Larry got the rest of the items on the list. Nathan decided he didn't want to walk and decided to start crawling on the floor of the Wal-Mart. I immediately picked him up only to have him wiggle his way out of my arms. I threw him over my shoulder and marched him back to the buggy. When he saw Larry he calmed a bit.

That's when the crazies hit Lia. We were standing in line to check out and I looked down and see that she's pulled down her pants. Her little moon was shining for everyone in check out lines 10-17 to see. I gasped and then she decided to start spanking herself. I could have just dug a whole right there. I snatched up her pants and told her to stop. I would have spanked her, I think, if I wouldn't have had Child Services called on me. She just laughed and did a little dance. Larry had gone to get something we forgot or I would have taken her to the bathroom and 'disciplined' her or taken her to the van. By the time he came back the moment was gone.

What do I do to make sure the kids behave in the store? We make sure to take them after nap and make sure they've eaten. They just turn into little crazies when we get in public. HELP!! Is it a full moon or something??!!

Halloween

It's here! The spookiest time of the year. I don't know about you, but we've enjoyed ourselves at several community Halloween events. We've gone 'Trunk or Treating' twice, visited the city's 'Halloween in the Park' and tomorrow night will end up at the 'Fall Festival' at our church. I can say I've gotten my money's worth on that $14.99 costume!

I hope you have a spook-tacular evening and enjoy your little goblins!


Lia is a Fairy Princess and Nathan is "Super Pooper"

Little men and women

I noticed our kids this week are suddenly grown ups trapped in a little man and a little woman's body. Lia is 4 going on 20 and Nathan isn't even 2 yet and already has an attitude. Lia has her expectations of how things should be and will fight for what she believes in...even if it's slightly distorted in her 4 year old mind.

Sunday we visited a different church and spent time with some friends. We told Lia we were going somewhere different and her first reaction was.."Will my sparkle sweater and jeans be okay or will I need to wear a dress?" She's FOUR, so why does it matter to her what she is wearing?? It just shows how our society is already affecting her innocence. I try my best to protect her, but that's all I can do. Thankfully her next thought was that she would make new friends. I reminded her that if they were going to be her friends that it really wouldn't matter to them what she was wearing. She smiled and agreed.

Dreams

Lia often tells us about her dreams at night. Sometimes she dreams of things we have done during the week and sometimes about silly things like a chicken brushing his hair with a toothbrush. I love to hear about her dreams and I'm glad to hear they are still innocent and pleasant. It makes me want to work twice as hard to make sure they stay that way.

Preschool Physical

Ok we all know that the kids have to get checked out every year before starting school. So far I've been on schedule, but this year it got put off until today which happens to be a week AFTER school has started. Anyway, I practiced with Lia before we left the house so she'd know what to expect. I told her about the doctor checking her throat and ears and how they'd check her blood pressure. We pretended it was a "birthday balloon" and she made a wish every time the nurse squeezes it. When all done she would blow really hard to make the wishes come true. I figure whatever works is good for me. She did really great with all of it! The nurse then hands us a gown for her and then tells me Lia will have to pee in a cup. I totally was thrown!! First of all, how is a 4 year old supposed to manage that? Second, since she obviously can't manage on her own, what am I supposed to do with my 18 month old while I help her? And last---Where in the Mama Handbook is it that I have to hold a cup for her to pee in?? That page must have been ripped out or something.

So the nurse was gracious enough to watch Nathan while Lia and I slipped to the little girl's room and took care of business. Let's just say she doesn't tinkle well under pressure. Then when she decided she could 'go' she also mentioned she had to poop. Let me tell ya that I quickly decided a urine sample was unnecessary and I was outta there. She laughed at me because she really didn't have to poop, but wanted to know what I would do. That little stinker!! It all turned out okay and they got their three drops to test. That's all I could get before she tinkled on my hand. UGH!! Had I thought it through, I would have requested gloves. Thankfully the bathroom had a full soap supply.

After that, Lia ended up getting four shots--two in each leg. She cried a little bit, and of course I wanted to join right in, but I had to stay positive and keep it together for her. Nathan cried loudest because he wanted to be held and I had to put him down while I held Lia's hands. She got TWO green suckers and a Diego sticker afterward then we met Daddy for a special BK lunch.

We told her how proud we were of her and now she's excited to go to school and tell all of her friends about her experience.

Is sanity worth jail time?

Today I had to buy school supplies for my dear Lia's Pre-K class. Since I had a gift card to Wal-Mart, that was where I went. We walked the store looking for random items like plastic shoe boxes, shaving cream and water colors. Why a Pre-K class needs shaving cream I have no idea. We also needed a pillow case cover. We walked the store three times before we found them tucked into a corner and then they were so expensive I walked away. By this time Lia and Nathan were both tired and hungry which made us all very very grumpy. After standing in line (20 items or less) for 40 minutes I was losing my sanity. On a side note: why does it take so long to get through the express lane and why are there only 3 check outs open at a super Wal-Mart?!? By the time we made it to the check out both kids were hitting each other even though I separated them time and again. Hitting means crying and crying leads to screaming on my part as well as theirs.

At that point I just imagined the Wal-Mart security guard would judge me as a bad parent and call social services to get my children. I envisioned sitting in the Wal-Mart security office while the security guard took the kids to the toy department while waiting for the social worker. Then the security guard would come back after 10 minutes with my children and apologize profusely for misjudging me. He would then understand that I wasn't a bad parent and I didn't deserve jail time, but I was just a frazzled mama shopping for school supplies.

At that point I realized I was day dreaming and that I still had my little lovies screaming at each other. Ahhh...it's so good to be the mama.

Worship can happen anywhere

Last night Larry and I went with four friends to see the 'Music Builds Tour' including Switchfoot and Third Day. I was expecting a fun time hanging out while listening to some fantastic bands. Switchfoot didn't disappoint and were terrific as always. When Third Day came on stage, it seems a feeling of worship covered the crowd. As they sang in praise to our Lord, hands were raised and spirits were lifted. Seeing that many people come together was amazing, but knowing that some people were there and hearing about the Lord for the first time was thrilling. I pray people came to know Jesus because of the music they heard at that concert.

If you have the opportunity to go see the "Music Builds Tour" I highly suggest it. It will be an experience you won't soon forget.

Silly kids

I'm really enjoying watching our son and daughter develop a relationship with each other. Lia is 4 and Nathan is 18 months and he's starting to repeat every sound he hears. She's teaching him animal noises as her big sister project. It's so fun to have her roar like a lion and hear him repeat her. He even mooed this week when she said 'cow'. Her newest thing is to teach him his body parts. She asks where his head is and he slaps himself in the forehead. It looks painful, but he always laughs. She asks where his nose is and he sticks his finger in it every time.

With Lia, I enjoyed teaching her all of those things and I enjoy doing so with Nathan as well, but Lia considers him her baby too and she wants her big sister projects to revolve around educating 'baby'. I'm so proud of her for loving him and showing it. It makes me proud to be a mom!

What happened to customer service?

Monday was a big day for us. We traded in our SUV for a mini van. I'm now a proud owner of a Buick Terazza mom-mobile and I love.

However, before we could make the transaction we had a few things to take care of. First, we decided to go to McD's for lunch. Larry asked for a refill on his sweet tea and was refused. I gave it a try and was refused. I made sure they knew that I've always gotten a refill and I wasn't about to pay $1.06 for a $.03 cup of water and sugar. The boy refilled the cup. What's the big deal about refilling a cup for a customer? If you want the customers to return shouldn't you try to make them happy? What happened to 'the customer is always right'? Do they NOT know they are in the SERVICE industry?

After that we went to the Secretary of State's office to get the title to our truck. Larry had to sit in line for almost two hours. At least the people were cooperative and polite. While he waited, Nathan and I went to the grocery store at the end of the strip mall so I could buy a book. When I got to the registers they were all full with about four people in each lines with full buggies. I only wanted a book. There were no self-check registers at all so I took my spot in line. I was fine with waiting until I noticed a couple of cashiers that had closed their registers so they could talk about their boyfriends. Finally they opened their lines when the manager spotted them. I was raised that when you're at work you should actually WORK. Talking is for your break--but that's just me.

We were then off to the bank where it took two plus hours for us to sign four pieces of paper. Again, the bank rep was kind and helpful. The reason for the delay was the incorrect paperwork given to us by the dealership--not the bank. When we got to the dealership we found that they had charged us several hundred dollars extra to file the documents. When we went over the numbers last week, nobody ever mentioned a document fee. It adds up to an extra payment. We weren't happy. The salesmen just shrugged and took us out to the van. They hadn't even bothered to clean it up. I would think that when selling a vehicle it should be washed with a little armor all on the dash, but they didn't bother. Larry let them know and they remedied the situation. Why did the customer have to point out a service they should provide without question? We had already gone through so much trouble to get the loan and title that we proceeded with the deal. I really wished I had the advantage of just walking away and letting them know why. Oh well.

I want to encourage everyone to remember to serve others as we should serve the Lord. Regardless of your profession, we should all remember to be in the 'service' industry for God's people.

Glorify God

This morning Sunday School went well. We talked about making our bodies a temple. I've heard it all my life and it didn't really sink in until this lesson how important it is to take good care of ourselves. God wants us to be in the best possible health so that we can be used for his glory. If we are not healthy by our own doing (not genetic diseases, but too much cake) then we have set limitations on how God can use us. We are literally robbing him of glory by not being our best. I know I struggle daily with food because we must eat to live and sometimes I live a bit too much. Now I plan to try to remember to glorify God in ALL things I do--including sitting down to a meal or planning more exercise.

Lord, help me to remember to keep you first in ALL things. Help me with my weaknesses and use my strengths to your glory. Amen

Wishes come true

Since Larry was a little boy he has wanted to scuba dive. Finally today he gets his wish. He's taking his first scuba class and will get to be in the pool to learn his stuff. I have a fear of water and every time I think about being under water I have to take a deep breath. I know he'll be safe and will have a great time. I'm so happy his dream is coming true.

Also, Nathan used a fork today for the first time. He did it just right and the food got in his mouth and everything. My baby is growing up.

Park day

Larry was off work today so we all went to a new park. It was really beautiful since it used to be a golf course. There is a wonderful play area for the kids and a picnic pavilion too. The bathrooms were even clean. There are beautiful flowers everywhere and even an area for weddings. We had a great time just being a family and having fun. It's too bad I forgot my camera.

What are our children learning?

I always try to teach our daughter that she's beautiful on the inside and outside. I tell her that actions speak louder than words and to obey the Golden Rule. I try to show her not to judge a book by it's cover. Then the TV is on and most shows are talking about what people are wearing or how much they weigh. Not only are entire shows dedicated to judging people on their appearance, but entire networks are based on it as well. How are our children supposed to learn their inner value when the world is saying it isn't as important as the jeans you wear or the size you are?

I know one answer is to turn off the TV. I can control that part so we only watch educational things when she's home, but then a trip to the grocery store exposes them to magazines with that same derogatory message. I take her to buy clothes and everything has a comment on the backside or shows her belly. She's FOUR!! I don't want people seeing her innocent belly or trying to read her backside.

I think as parents, we need to join together to fight the messages sent to our children. Who's with me?